Lesson 1: Fear & worrying can drive you insane.....

When I first found out I was pregnant I was scared for so many reasons. I didn't feel ready, like I wasn't old enough to have a baby yet. It didn't matter that I was 24, lived a great house with the man I love and our dogs....I felt like I had suddenly done something so wrong and am about to let everyone down.

We didn't have time to adjust to our news, Jon wanted to talk with our parents right away because he, like myself was raised extremely close with his family and just couldn't keep something like this in. SO we told both set of families and after the reactions and the shock wore off, everyone was on board and excited.

We are currently on week 29 and let me tell ya, I never thought I would make it this far. I was so scared the first few months that I was going to lose this baby because I either didn't deserve a precious gift like a child or I would accidental eat something or do something wrong that would take out baby away. We are so lucky and thankful that we are this far and almost done!

The first thing I learned is that being scared, well terrified is a better word, is completely normal. It's normal to worry that you are going to miscarry in those first few months, it's normal to worry that you aren't doing things right through out your entire pregnancy, and as it's getting closer, I am learning that it's completely normal to be terrified that you aren't going to do a good job at raising your child, that somewhere a long the way you are going to mess up big time. Fear is normal for a parent and something that will never go away, but it's also a blessing because we were given the opportunity that for all too many will never be a reality. Having a child is such a blessing that that in itself is something that calms all my fears. This is happening for a reason, a reason I know will make sense to me one day. For now, we are enjoying this baby girl even though she isn't here. We now spend our Sunday mornings laying in bed with our hands on my tummy feeling her say good morning instead of watching TV. We now ask ourselves "what are we going to do when this or that happens." instead of just laughing at a family situation on a sitcom. We now plan for our future instead of planning for the following day or week because we know someone is now counting on us. It's scary, enough to drive you insane, but it's the greatest gift I have ever received and I can't wait to meet her and share her with this world.